Slow Burn
by isthismistersmolderholder
Summary: A cursed item causes Emma to relive the worst stage of her life, only this time she has a family to help her through it, and the mother of her son seems to be oddly interested in helping her get better. As she slowly begins to heal again, she realizes that sometimes you have to face the hurt to truly move on. Warning: mentions of Rape, drug addiction.
1. Into the frying pan

_**Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Ouat belongs to Adam and Eddie. **_

"So what exactly are we looking for?" Ruby crossed her arms, leaning against the wire fence on the edge of the reservation, ignoring Emma's pointed look that was intended to push the younger girl to lift her weight.

"I'm not one hundred per cent sure. Gold just said that we'd really regret it if we didn't find it, and he looked pretty shaken up." Emma knew better to question Gold's intensions this time, if whatever it was worried Rumplestiltskin, then it was probably something she wanted off the streets as soon as possible. "Oh, and don't touch it." Gold had been particularly pushy about that part, and while it had picked Emma's curiosity, with her luck lately it'd probably cause sudden death or something.

Ruby raised an eyebrow. "I don't trust him." She muttered, rolling her eyes as Emma pulled her away from the fence so they could get moving.

"No one in their right mind does." Emma countered. Ruby opened her mouth to retort but paused and held up a finger.

"I think I can smell it." She murmured, closing her eyes and breathing in deeply through her nose. Emma almost jumped when Ruby's eyes opened and flashed gold. She was never going to get used to all of this fairy-tale crap.

"C'mon." Ruby lurched ahead of Emma, not realizing that in her rush she'd knocked her friend over. Emma landed on her hands and knees, the leather of her gloves tearing at the palm, not that she had time to notice. Gathering herself she got up and ran after Ruby, eager to get this over with. Doing business with Gold felt like having slivers of glass shoved into her feet. When she caught up with Ruby, the werewolf was zoned out, staring at what appeared to be a silver chain, suspiciously placed in plain sight.

"Awesome. Let's wrap it up and go," Emma grinned, but as she turned her gaze back to Ruby, she realized that the wolf was mesmerized, reaching out her bare hands to hold the jewellery. Emma's eyes widened and she darted between them, grabbing the chain herself.

Ruby snapped out of her trance and then gave Emma a look full of confusion.

"I think it was calling me," She gasped. "Thank you." The brunette realized Emma wasn't moving, and playfully jabbed at her friend, only to receive no response. "Uh, Emma?"

Her hand clasped over her mouth as she realized that the chain was pressed against the bare skin of Emma's palms, large holes torn through the centre of her cheap leather gloves.

_Crap, crap, crap._

Ruby pulled her beanie off her head and turned it upside down, carefully pulling the chain from Emma's hand into the beanie. As soon as the chain left the Sherriff's hand, she fell to the ground unconscious.

….

"What the hell does this thing do?!" Red demanded, shoving Gold into his counter, unable to stop herself from snarling at him.

"It's none of your concern." Gold deadpanned, picking up a jar from the counter behind him and holding it out. "In here."

"No. You're not getting it until you tell me what it does." Red insisted, slamming him backwards again to make her point. Violence was usually her answer when she was scared.

Rumplestiltskin raised an eyebrow at her, and then his eyes widened in realization. "The saviour didn't heed my warning, it seems. Some people just love to break the rules."

Ruby sighed, shifting uncomfortably. "It was an accident. It was sort of my fault, but that's irrelevant. What's going to happen to her?"

"She'll sleep through the night, and wake up exactly twelve hours from the time she passed out." Gold began, and then clucked his tongue, "Though I imagine, she won't really be herself when she awakens."

"What do you mean? Did something possess her?" Ruby's imagination was running wild.

"The chain was designed as a weapon, dearie. It causes its victim to revert to when they were at their most vulnerable. Which should be quite the sight to see on the Sherriff. It will take her darkest moment and make her relive it over, and over, and over." He chuckled, and tugged himself out of Ruby's grip, snatching her beanie. "Now, as you knew when you so rudely stormed in, the shop is closed." He turned to walk into the workshop, but Ruby grabbed his shoulder.

"Will she get better?" She asked softly, now only feeling fear for her friend.

"In time."

…

Snow and Charming had been horrified when Ruby had called them and told them what happened, and now as they sat at her bedside, holding her hand and sipping travel mugs of coffee, they wondered not for the first time, about Emma's past. Maybe they could get off easy, and the worst thing to have happened to Emma was being placed back in foster care at age three. But for Snow and David, nothing was ever that simple.

A whimper caught the couple's attention and they jerked up in their seats.

"Emma, Emma honey, can you hear me?" Snow asked urgently, her hands on Emma's cheeks as she hovered worriedly. David squeezed his daughter's hand.

Emma's eyes flew open and she roughly pulled her hand out from David's and jerked her face away from Snow's warm hands. She tried not to feel too guilty about the hurt look on her parents' faces. She could already feel the tears pooling in her eyes and surprisingly, she felt an astounding amount of pain in her body. It felt like it had only happened yesterday.

"Please don't touch me." She whispered hoarsely, leaning back on her pillows and staring at the ceiling.

"What's wrong?" David asked softly, but complied despite his desperate need to comfort his daughter. Snow looked like she was in actual physical pain at being told not to touch Emma.

"I can't," She shook her head rapidly against the pillow. "It feels like it just happened." She whispered, voice thick with pain.

Snow and David exchanged concerned glances.

"Sweetheart…Your leather gloves were torn when you touched the cursed object. It…It causes it's victims to relive their most vulnerable moments. I promise, it will wear off soon, but we'll be here. You can talk to us now Emma, where here for you now, we're your _parents_," She shook her head, emotion overtaking her as it often did when Emma was involved. "Please, Emma. I want to be here for you."

Emma's lower lip quivered and she forced herself to look her mother in the eye. "Mary Margaret, trust me, if you knew, you'd only be ashamed of me."

"There is nothing you could say, that could ever change how proud we are to be your parents," David chimed in, hesitantly reaching out again only for Emma to flinch away.

"I said don't touch me," She whispered, feeling even worse as she realized David had only been trying to comfort her.

"I'm sorry." He said softly, but his eyes stared into her, begging her to let them in.

"No. I am, hell, you two are better than anything I dreamed up as a kid, and I'm treating you like crap." Emma sighed, shakily running a hand through her hair. "I…" She closed her eyes tightly, her fingers moving from her hairline to the bridge of her nose. "I want to tell you. But you have to swear to me that you won't leave me, no matter how disgusted you are."

"We could never leave you," Snow said passionately, pulling her chair in closer to the bed. "We're ready, no matter what you say, we will always be here."

"We love you, Emma. And true love does not waver." David gave her a reassuring smile, and Emma half-heartedly tried to hold back tears, failing spectacularly.

"Okay." He voice cracked, and she leaned back in her bed, refusing to look at them while she spoke. "I was a troubled kid, I guess. After I got out of jail, I'd just lost everything and I felt so…alone, you know? So I made some bad decisions. I became an addict. Oxy, mainly. Sometimes heroin, the occasional joint. Whatever I could do to forget everything." She chanced a glance at her parents and felt her cheeks heat at the look of despair she saw on their faces. She scrunched her face up and took a deep, shaky breath.

"My dealer wasn't the nicest guy. He was somewhere around thirty and I was nineteen, and he made no secret of the fact he was attracted to me." She bit her lip, fighting another round of tears. "It was my birthday so he said I could shoot up for free, if I did it with him. After I got high, he changed his mind. He said I had to pay him, but I didn't have the money, so-" She choked on her words, her face twisted in anguish. "He said I'd have to pay another way. I wasn't that kind of girl, I tried to say no but he…He was bigger than me. Stronger. He wouldn't take no for an answer."

The sound of David gagging made her look back at her parents, only to see Snow silently crying and David vomit into the small bin. What had she been thinking, telling them about that? They were disgusted, they hated her. She literally made David sick. So much for True love not wavering.

"I understand if you want to leave, I won't hold it against you." She whispered forlornly, her fists clenching around her itchy hospital blanket.

"Oh, Emma, _no_." Snow reached out and brushed the tears from her daughter's cheeks, trying to ignore how Emma jerked a little bit in fear at the unexpected touch. "That is not your fault, honey. You know that right?" Snow watched Emma continue to stare at her lap, and realized that she really did blame herself for the completely out of line behaviour of her assailant.

David wiped his mouth with some tissues, and came to join Snow at Emma's beside. "Emma, look at us."

She reluctantly met their eyes, hers still swimming in fear and pain, but mainly just shame.

"There is no excuse for rape." David said fiercely. Both of the other women flinched at the last word, and David felt whatever was left of his lunch try to force its way up. His daughter, his baby girl, the baby he'd fought so hard to keep safe from the curse, had been brutally_ raped_ by a _drug dealer. _It also scared him to hear about her addiction as well, but that was something to be addressed later on. "You have nothing, _nothing _to be ashamed of." He moved slowly, so as not to alarm her, and pressed his lips to her forehead gently, and then sat back down.

Emma was silent, as though she could hardly believe what was being said to her. Both parents picked that up immediately.

"Your father's right, Em. And we're going to be right here, by your side, and we're going to help you get better."

The dam broke, Emma's whole body shook as she sobbed, throwing her arms around her parents and crying into where their bodies met at the shoulders.

"Oh…I'm sorry to interrupt, but I've got Emma's blood work back." Whale stood in the doorway awkwardly as Emma extracted herself from her parents, embarrassed.

"It's fine Dr. Whale." Snow said politely, a little irritated that their moment had been cut short.

"Right then. Everything looks fine, but when I did a routine drug test…" He looked even more uncomfortable now. "There was a surprising level of Oxycontin in the blood stream." He shifted where he stood. "I'm obligated to suggest a few rehab facilities. I'm uh, just going to leave the pamphlets." He placed them on the bedside table. "Do you have any questions?"

Everyone was silent.

"Okay, I'm going to…leave."

The room continued to be silent for a few minutes. Everyone's minds were racing.

Snow was terrified. The curse must truly be to 'relive' her most vulnerable time. She would have to conquer her drug addiction again. The only other explanation was that Emma was still using, but she wouldn't lie about that, would she? No. No, she wouldn't. Snow trusted Emma, and the fact that Emma had owned up to the addiction at all was proof enough that this was simply the curse's effects.

David however, wasn't sure. He trusted his daughter, but he'd seen addicts back in the enchanted forest. There it had been mushrooms and marijuana exclusively, but he knew the lying and shame and covering up that they'd do.

"Have you been using since you came to Storybrooke?" He tried to sound gentle and understanding, and to his great relief Emma instantly shook her head.

"I have a son. I have responsibilities. No matter how much I may have wanted to get high, I wouldn't risk losing any of what I have now. Although…Now I'm not so sure," Her voice wavered and her lip twitched. "I…I thought it was just seeing the memory all over again that made me want to use but I guess it was the drugs that are back in my system. No wonder I felt so relaxed, despite feeling miserable." Emma rubbed her forehead. "I'm going to ruin everything, aren't I?"

Her daughter sounded broken, and Snow had trouble fighting off tears herself. "No. We're going to fix this Emma, I promise you. Even If we have to be by your side every minute of every day, that's what we'll do."

"That what family does," Charming agreed. "We're not going anywhere."

…

Emma was released hours later, and as soon as they'd gotten back to the apartment, she'd been so drowsy that they'd, for the first time, put her to bed and tucked her in.

They'd walked downstairs in silence, neither knowing what to say. The whole situation was beyond anything they could have imagined. Emma's life just seemed to be awful up until recently, and Snow felt immense grief and regret over sending her here. She wondered if perhaps Emma would have been better off cursed. After all, no one who'd been cursed had actually suffered any pain, and if anything they'd been given a second chance at life without addiction.

It just wasn't fair.

"How did we let this happen?" She asked David, her eyes red and swollen from crying. David himself looked like a wreck too, hair all over the place from his hands running through it from stress, and his ears pink from the heat of the distress.

"I don't know. I just wish we had been there, I wish we could have saved her from all of that. God, I wish…" He trailed off, shaking his head and sitting down. "I wish August had followed through on his promise to take care of our little girl." He said, his tone suddenly venomous.

"Charming," Snow said softly, finger raising his chin. "Anger will help no one." She also felt resentment towards the boy, but he was just that now, a young boy. A waste of emotion, to hate him for what he did in a life he didn't remember.

"I know. I'm sorry, I love her so much and it hurts, Snow. I never thought anything could hurt this badly."

"I feel like we failed her," Snow agreed, allowing David to wrap his arm around her and hold her close, rubbing circles into her side. "But we have a chance to help her now. And so we need to gather our strength and get her back to herself."

"We're going to need to keep her away from the rabbit hole and work for a while."

"What are we going to tell Henry?"

A loud whimper broke in as the two leapt from their seats, rushing upstairs.

Emma had tossed her blankets on the floor and was crying in her sleep.

"No, please," She begged, "I don't want to!"

David felt the bile returning and forced himself to swallow. Snow took a deep breath to calm down, and climbed carefully onto the bed, reaching out and pulling the sleeping girl into her arms, stroking her hair softly.

"It's alright Emma," She whispered softly, "You're safe now, and nobody will ever hurt you like that again."

She gestured for David to join her, and with a shaky nod he climbed in on the other side. Emma's hands touched his shoulder as if to push him away.

"Speak to her, David." Snow frowned at him.

"It's just me Emma. I'm here to protect you, we both are." He professed, and instantly Emma seemed to calm right down, her hands curling around the material of his shirt as she snuggled her head into his chest, Snow still stroking her hair and holding her on the other side. It felt surreal. This would have happened if they had raised her, whenever she had a bad nightmare, he was sure. His eyes met his dear Snow's, and as she pulled the blanket back up over the three of them, they shared a wistful smile, and allowed their heads to drop onto the pillows, and sleep to take them over.

/….\

**Authors Note:**

**Okay, so this was pretty heavy I know. I'm not sure if I'm going to continue this or not, it depends on if you guys want me to. It will be handling some pretty full on problems, and it will be Swan Queen if continued, and I'm a sucker for a happy ending so. **

**Anyway, let me know what you think, what could have been improved, if I should continue etc. **

**Katya.**


	2. Bring me the fire

**Hi! This chapter is pretty short, so I'm sorry about that! I promise future chapters will be longer, but I just had a lot going on this last week. Chapter 3 is half way done so all is well, and also, Thank you so so much for reviewing, favoriting and following! I'm so happy that you have chosen to continue reading this! It fills me with warmth. **

**frenchgirl1981: Regina will be in this chapter so I hope you enjoy her!**

**Gemilh : Thank you very much for your kind words.**

**And everyone else who reviewed as well, thank you! This chapter does mention drugs, but not the use of them. **

_**Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Ouat belongs to Adam and Eddie. **_

Emma awoke to the sound of her parents breathing softly in the same rhythm. She cracked an eye open only to see nothing but the colour blue. She slowly pulled her head back and away from her father's chest, and glanced over her shoulder at Mary Margaret, who was sleeping with a peaceful smile on her face and her arms gently wrapped around Emma.

The blonde was almost tempted to just go back to sleep, after all, this was something she'd coveted her whole life. Parents who loved her and went out of their way to comfort her and take care of her. Only, now, she had someone she had to take care of. She couldn't afford to just fall into the role of daughter, she was already a mother, and she was supposed to drive Henry to school today, traumatised or not.

She was careful to move slowly as she tried to slide out from under her parents, letting out a hiss of breath when David groaned and rolled over, almost falling off the bed. In a matter of minutes, she was on her feet and grabbing her keys, and an outfit to put on in the car as she didn't want to risk still being there when her parents were to wake.

…

Anxiety swelled in her chest as she approached the front door of 108 Mifflin street, as she knew she looked pretty messed up. She didn't want to worry Henry and she _really _didn't want to give Regina another reason to doubt her ability to be a parent. That's all the brunette ever seemed to do lately, despite the white flag Emma had waved in letting Henry stay with her.

The door was swung open before Emma had even knocked, and Regina stood impatiently in the doorway. She looked impeccable as always, silky hair waving just as her shoulders, a tight grey designer sweater with perfectly ironed slacks and black heels, chocolate eyes narrowed in annoyance, and lips pulled back in a scowl. Emma wondered why she was in a constant state of anger not for the first time in the last week.

"You're twenty minutes late," She growled, folding her arms over her chest. "I would have driven him myself, but he refused to get in the car."

Emma gulped and glanced at her watch- Regina was right, of course. "I'm sorry, at least its just year seven-"

"Miss Swan, are you really under the impression that tardiness is excusable?" Regina raised an eyebrow in challenge, and Emma fought off a smirk. She loved this, winding Regina up, intentional or not, always seemed to give her an adrenaline rush.

"Well, I'm just saying that considering this is probably the first time he's ever been late in his life, it doesn't really matter." Emma shrugged, "Where is he now?"

Regina bit her tongue to stop herself from saying something that Henry wouldn't forgive. "He's doing some homework while he waits."

"Wait, he's late to school so you make him do homework? That's just like being at school anyway!" Emma gaped, aghast at even the thought of it.

"And what would you have him do, Miss Swan?" Regina stepped into her personal bubble, though Emma didn't find herself really objecting. "Play video games all morning?" Regina's arm brushed Emma's and brought her back to reality, in a rather horrible way. Her body stung as she jerked backwards, not expecting the spike of fear and accompanying flashback jump up within her at being touched. Rough hands, drugged haze, loud banging from the neighbouring flat and a call of "Keep it down!".

Regina inspected the blonde from where she stood, still in the doorway while Emma stood in the grass a few feet away. She was surprised to feel a small jab of concern for the woman, but forced herself to shake it off.

"Are you alright?" She asked flatly, trying very hard to make sure she sounded like she didn't care.

Emma opened her mouth to respond right as Henry shoved past Regina and threw his arms around his mother, causing Emma to freeze to the spot.

This wasn't right, this was Henry. She had to be okay with this, for him. She couldn't make herself hug him back but she took a deep breath and relaxed her tightened muscles, so he wouldn't feel how stiff she was.

"C'mon Mom, I'm really late." He grabbed her hand and began pulling her along to the car, and she didn't object. She didn't want to upset him. Regina was still watching her curiously, and didn't shut the door and go back inside until she had left the driveway altogether.

Something wasn't right with Emma, and she was going to get to the bottom of it. For Henry's sake, of course.

…..

"Why are you being so quiet?"

Emma's eyes darted from the road ahead to Henry beside her and back. "Uh, just trying to drive safe kid."

Henry rolled his eyes and sighed. "I thought you said you were done lying to me?"

Emma swallowed, and tightened her grip on the steering wheel, anxiety and fear bubbling away in her stomach. There were some things that Henry simply did not need to know, and this was one of them. Only, she had no idea what to say instead, as the kid seemed to have inherited her lie detecting abilities. Damn it.

"I'm just having a crappy day," She finally murmured, seeing the school just ahead of them. "I just didn't want to worry you."

"Did you and Mom have a fight?" He asked, recalling the rigid posture he'd found her in when he ran out to greet her. She'd seemed afraid, even. If Regina had threatened her, he'd be beyond furious.

"No, nothing like that." She answered vaguely, hoping that for once in his life, Henry would leave it alone and move on. "Do you wanna go out for ice cream after school?"

"Are you bribing me?" Henry grinned, fighting the urge to laugh out loud at her antics. Classic Emma Swan style deflection.

"Maybe," She managed a secret smile as she parked. At least this way, she could also put off facing Mary Margaret and David even longer. She had no idea what she was going to say to them, and she was scared. She'd never had anyone who loved her so much In her life, and she was paranoid that they would leave her when they realized just how messed up she truly was.

"Okay," Henry nodded, "As long as I can have three scoops."

"Three scoops it is," She ruffled his hair as he opened the car door. "See you then, kid. Have a good day!"

"Thanks Ma!"

…

She's walking into the bullpen when she hears it. It's so quiet that at first, she can't understand it. But seconds later, the voice is screaming at her, cursing her, begging her, and she feels like she's going to cry.

"You left me, you left me here!" It continues, and Emma's hands are covering her ears, trying in vein to block out the desperate, accusing cries. She feels rough hands on her hips and a second, rougher voice that she can't quite lock onto, the female voice overpowering the male.

"I'm sorry!" She shuts her eyes but all she can see behind her lids is the face of a young girl, and it's killing her. Absolutely destroying her.

And then all of a sudden there is silence. She opens her eyes slowly, and sees nothing but the empty station. Her desk has yesterday's paper bag on it, which once contained a bagel. Her eyes move from one side of the room to the other, until they land on Regina Mills, who is staring at her like she's grown a second head. Emma groans, rubbing her temple in embarrassment, realizing that the mayor must have witnessed her breakdown.

Regina narrows her eyes at the dishevelled sheriff, her eyebrows knitting together. She wasn't sure if what she was feeling was concern or just plain confusion. "Miss Swan?"

Emma bit her lip and forced an awkward smile, shrugging her shoulders. "I'm sick." She mumbled, rubbing the back of her neck and hoping Regina would just leave it at that, but that was not Regina's style at all.

"You look more like you've seen a ghost," Regina mused, her gaze intensifying slightly. "I trust you're well enough to be caring for Henry?"

Emma nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, nothing contagious," She gave a gentle smile that she hoped was convincing, because when It came to Regina she had no idea where she stood, or what she was thinking. She hated that it was so hard to read her, most people were like an open book to her, and it was disgruntling to know that she could never know Regina's intentions. She at least seemed to be letting it go, for once.

"Good." Regina turned, as if to leave. She hadn't known why she'd bothered to come to the station, she'd just had a feeling it was where she was meant to be. It certainly wasn't because she actually felt concern for the Sherriff, because when it came to Emma, she assured herself she felt nothing. She paused in the doorway, and looked back at the frazzled blonde. "Although…If there was something," She winced a little, "Pressing, on your mind, I would be willing to listen." Again, she winced. "For Henry's sake."

Emma gaped at her, suddenly questioning her sanity, not that she hadn't been already. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me, Sheriff." And with that, Regina forced herself to leave the station.

Emma stared after her, blinking. What had just happened? Surely she hadn't imagined it, but…

She heaved a sigh and crossed her arms, pacing in front of her desk. God, she'd really hit her limit. A sudden thought hit her and she had to fight every fibre of her being not to investigate it. Kids partied. Police were always called. Their drugs of choice would have been entered into evidence, and with a town this small with no true connections to the outside world, all those escapes would be going nowhere, and they would have to still be in evidence. She had to stay strong and fight the urge to go and check. A voice in her mind whispered that maybe, if there was nothing there, she'd be able to relax.

It seemed she couldn't fight it. She just had to know.

The evidence basement was gloomy as ever, lights dim and swinging on an overly low hanging cord, walls dusty and grimy from lack of up-keep, and the walls were lined with the kind of lockers you'd find in a school, only black with no vents. Her hands gripped the keys tightly as she approached the first locker, hesitantly placing the key within the lock, and readying herself, she turned it. The locker popped open with a click, and Emma's eyes rolled over the contents. Nothing she was looking for. She felt a rush of relief, and moved on to the next.

That was her mistake. She'd hit the metaphorical jackpot. Oxy, Acid, Amphetamines, Weed and cocaine. All tightly packed onto the top shelf. She stared for a moment, awestruck, before swiftly grabbing a bad that contained the familiar bright orange pills, and the larger bag of weed. She knew it was a bad idea, but old habits die hard, especially when they feel like fresh habits. Tucking them into her bag, she locked up and left, cursing herself for her weakness as she rushed back up the stairs.

* * *

**The next chapter will see what Emma decides to do, Henry and Emma's ice cream date, and the confrontation with Snow and David.  
**

**Please Review to tell me what you'd like to see, what you enjoyed, or even what you disliked. Thank you so much for reading!**

**Katya**


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